Call this a redemption article
for my creative writing class in the USM in 2004. The first assignment for that class was to
write a 300-words summary that defined us.
I did not anticipate the difficulty until I started to write. I was
clueless. I interviewed my friends,
asking them to tell me of what they thought about me in a couple of sentences
and I was searching deep into my retrospection: my thoughts and my feelings. So much so that the deadline inevitably
approached and I wrote about myself and tried to explain as clear as possible
to my audience, my instructor, Mr. Robert Raymer.
Each student then had an
individual ‘sit-down’ time with Mr. Raymer when he would help us write what we
wanted to say. I explained verbally
about myself and he asked, “Are you in some sort of missionary works?” Well, yes and no? I was not satisfied with that piece of
writing and unconsciously, I kept thinking about it. This in itself proves how good an instructor
Mr. Raymer was.
Until recently, my online, Logical
Progression’s teacher, Mr. Abu Eesa Niamatullah defined the word fiqh as ‘fiqh1
is not ‘aqidah2’. He added
after that, “That can be a precise way of defining something, by what it isn’t,”
and everything fell into place for me. I
was trying to define who I am when I first wrote about myself while the real
answer is in what I am not.
Some people believed that you
need to know what you want so you can pursue it. But I also believe that if you know exactly
what you do not want, that leaves you with open options. I do not want to lose Islam3 that I
consciously chose when I was eighteen.
From then on, Islam has shaped my outer look, my thoughts and my
conducts.
I started to dress more modestly,
I started putting on a hijaab and I became more conscious of the way I interacted
with opposite gender just because the Quran4 said “speak to the men
politely but not in an alluring manners.”
Not that I have to work hard on it because looking at my dressing, men
instantaneously know I am not going to shake their hands let alone hug
them.
In my study, I strive to be the
best student in the class with regards to grades because the Quran said that
“You are the best,” and more than that, I respected my teachers and the
knowledge that they were giving me. I did
not take any subject lightly. I intended
to understand the subject and use it throughout my life. I felt bad if I did not perform well or if I
disappointed my teachers in anyway.
There were questions that I could not bring myself to ask my teachers
especially personal questions just because the high respect that I have for
them. Even when some of my teachers
become friends, that line exists and I never want to cross it. As a friend, I tried to be the best of friend
that a person can have. I went out of my
way to help my friends and make them happy.
I bought gifts because the prophet Muhammad5 said, “Give
gifts, it makes hearts bloom with love.”
Whatever I do, I keep myself
within Islamic loci and when I have to make a choice, I choose what agrees with
Islam even when it meant sacrifice on my end for example being the first one to
say ‘I am sorry’ or not applying interest when collecting debt from another
person and not attending a theatrical performance I badly wanted to see not
because the lack of seats in the hall but because the intermingling between
genders in the sittings. I can take a
friend out for a drink and pay for anything but alcohol. Now I can say something about myself. I am muslim6.
Glossary:
1. fiqh - science of deriving
Islamic jurisprudence
2. ‘aqidah - theology and in Islam it is
monotheism
3. Islam - one of the three semitic
religion rooting to the Abrahamic faith and Islam is monotheistic
4. Quran - Islam holy book
5. Muhammad - prophet of Islam and appointed to all humankind
6. muslim - verb meaning submit to Islam
(the one used for this article)
- noun meaning a person whose religion is Islam
No comments:
Post a Comment