To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth. He creates what He wills (and plan), He bestows (children) male or female according to His will (and plan), or He bestows both males and females, and He leaves barren whom He will: for He is full of Knowledge and Power (Ash-Shura: 49-50).
We were blessed with our second child. When the pregnancy was confirmed and we had a scan telling us that the baby was (probably) going to be a girl, we were happy. When friends asked what we were expecting and we conveyed the news, we received a mixed reaction.
Some were very positive and happy. Wishing us well all the way through. Unfortunately some were...I am not certain what word should I use. We had those who said,
"Well, try for another one and if it's a boy then you can stop (making babies)."
Others said,
"You think you will be able to handle two girls? Your life will be miserable. How are you going to cope? How can you pursue your study? Will your spouse be able to take care of them while you are in school? Your eldest is only 18 months!" and that friend detailed out all the 'hardships' that will come with our new bundle of joy.
"Would you have enough breast milk to feed the baby? The milk dry fast... you should start with formula..."
"Life is not easy these days, everything is expensive. One child is already a lot, you know?"
To my spouse personally they said,
"Well, enjoy the moment while it lasts. You are going into misery once the new one arrives."
And more negative comments followed.
I was appalled. Not only because of the negativity but how some comments actually came from our Muslim friends.
They must have forgotten,
Enjoin prayer on thy people, and be constant therein. We ask thee not to provide sustenance: We provide it for thee. But the (fruit of) the Hereafter is for righteousness. (Ta-Ha: 132)
Alhamdulillah the pregnancy went well and though we were hoping and trying to have a normal delivery, Allah had a better plan for us. Our second girl too, was born via Caesarean section on Friday, Safar 3rd, 1432/ January 7th, 2011. She weight 3.4kg at birth and we had not had any names for her. Just like our firstborn's name, Khaulah, was not short-listed, so was our second child's. We decided to name her Kawthar.
That night my spouse looked through the Quran translation and opened Surah al-Kawthar. We felt the revelation of the surah befitting our situation. Surah al-Kawthar was revealed when the Qureyshi mushrikeen were demeaning Prophet Muhammad sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam for not having any sons that will carry his name. Prophet Muhammad had three sons but they all died at young ages. The Prophet was left with four daughters.
The surah was Allah comforting Prophet Muhammad that what he had (daughters) were like al-Kawthar- a spring in heaven and the well where pious Muslims will drink in the hereafter whilst waiting for judgement. The water from al-Kawthar will quench one's thirst forever.
Allah told Prophet Muhammad that the people who demeaned him were the ones who will be cut off and forgotten. On the other hand, the name of Prophet Muhammad and his way of life will be dignified by all Muslims and admired by friends and foes alike, forever.
We have always wanted our children to have a meaningful name that they will be proud to carry and this will be for her. Kawthar should never feel small or less because of her gender. Instead she should feel proud she is a female and more than that, a muslimah because Allah and the Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam had given women their deserved status.
The believing men and believing women are allies of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and establish prayer and give zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger. Those - Allah will have mercy upon them. Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise. Allah has promised the believing men and believing women gardens beneath which rivers flow, wherein they abide eternally, and pleasant dwellings in gardens of perpetual residence; but approval from Allah is greater. It is that which is the great attainment. (at-Tawbah: 71-72)
Indeed, the Muslim men and Muslim women, the believing men and believing women, the obedient men and obedient women, the truthful men and truthful women, the patient men and patient women, the humble men and humble women, the charitable men and charitable women, the fasting men and fasting women, the men who guard their private parts and the women who do so, and the men who remember Allah often and the women who do so - for them Allah has prepared forgiveness and a great reward. (al-Ahzab: 35)
That night my spouse looked through the Quran translation and opened Surah al-Kawthar. We felt the revelation of the surah befitting our situation. Surah al-Kawthar was revealed when the Qureyshi mushrikeen were demeaning Prophet Muhammad sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam for not having any sons that will carry his name. Prophet Muhammad had three sons but they all died at young ages. The Prophet was left with four daughters.
The surah was Allah comforting Prophet Muhammad that what he had (daughters) were like al-Kawthar- a spring in heaven and the well where pious Muslims will drink in the hereafter whilst waiting for judgement. The water from al-Kawthar will quench one's thirst forever.
Allah told Prophet Muhammad that the people who demeaned him were the ones who will be cut off and forgotten. On the other hand, the name of Prophet Muhammad and his way of life will be dignified by all Muslims and admired by friends and foes alike, forever.
We have always wanted our children to have a meaningful name that they will be proud to carry and this will be for her. Kawthar should never feel small or less because of her gender. Instead she should feel proud she is a female and more than that, a muslimah because Allah and the Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam had given women their deserved status.
The believing men and believing women are allies of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and establish prayer and give zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger. Those - Allah will have mercy upon them. Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise. Allah has promised the believing men and believing women gardens beneath which rivers flow, wherein they abide eternally, and pleasant dwellings in gardens of perpetual residence; but approval from Allah is greater. It is that which is the great attainment. (at-Tawbah: 71-72)
Indeed, the Muslim men and Muslim women, the believing men and believing women, the obedient men and obedient women, the truthful men and truthful women, the patient men and patient women, the humble men and humble women, the charitable men and charitable women, the fasting men and fasting women, the men who guard their private parts and the women who do so, and the men who remember Allah often and the women who do so - for them Allah has prepared forgiveness and a great reward. (al-Ahzab: 35)
1 comment:
Salam Kak Neza, subhanAllah this is a lovely post. Felt almost teary. How I wish that my mother would write something like this for me.nevertheless, I think she has her own way.I admire the strength you had against the people who had so much negativity in their minds and that I pray that Allah will bless you with children that are solehah. Amin~ I am sure going to miss Khawlah and Kawthar when you are finished with your degree.We need to find a new usrah spot by then.Do pray for us too here in UBC,that everyone gets to graduate in UBC with their degrees.Till we meet again. insyaAllah. :) Salam
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